I try to HELP people, even when I need HELP.

“When takers win, there’s usually someone else who loses. Research shows that people tend to envy successful takers and look for ways to knock them down a notch. In contrast, when givers like David Hornik win, people are rooting for them and supporting them, rather than gunning for them. Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them.”
Adam M. Grant, Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

I partially disagree with the quote because givers can also get gunned down depending on where one is. However, this is not the topic that I am writing for this article probably I will keep that for my future writing.

Showing Support

People who know me well enough know that I will try to support and link them up to opportunities wherever there’s a chance. A customer started a cafe, and I visited them for my meetings and going to bring potential business opportunities to them. Which I hope to benefit both parties when there are collaborations. Friends look for a new job, and I have friends who are a recruiter or know someone who intends to hire. I get both of them together. A friend sells a particular product, and someone approaches me if I sell any of that. I connect both of them as one is looking for a supply and another for demand. This year, I bought my wife a pair of earrings from my customer’s online platform for her birthday. Since I am spending, I might as well benefit someone I know.

No Fee

I do not seek any financial benefits by connecting people, except when they decide to buy me a cup of coffee or lunch. Unless I am involved in a certain way and contribute, I do not ask for monetary compensation. The reason is that I do not want to push for a deal that’s not a match to get the money reward. It’s not beneficial for both parties. So I ask that they link me up and remember me when they know of people looking for things I can provide.

Simple & Hard Request

Does it sound like a simple request to you? I thought this was a straightforward request to support one another by introducing business to each other, keeping the opportunities within the ecosystem and everyone benefit. We do not need to pay money to join any business networking group for this, and it’s this simple. However, this is not that straightforward as people hesitate to introduce and refer business. I am asking myself why is this happening? Am I not good enough?

If we are not great, we will not be developing enterprise software for a famous local brand in Singapore. You know that it is Lunar New Year when people queue for hours to get their product, a “must-have” for Lunar New Year. If we are not great, we will not be performing Digital Integration for the largest catering company in Singapore. If we are not great, we will not have a locally developed system that gathers positive feedback from the top management in one of the Government Agencies.

Lending Hands

Fortunately, I know people from LinkedIn who genuinely believe in us that they come to us to collaborate. One of them gets me to join them as part of the team to provide consultancy to one of the GLCs for their M&A project. Another one was seeking opportunities where we could collaborate to bring one of his businesses across the region. These are people who believe while they do not know me long enough.

Is this your story too?

If this happened to you, you are on the verge of giving up and thinking that people around you don’t give a damn. Yes, you are right! Unfortunately, people around us tend not to trust us when running our own business.

However, there will be someone willing to help and see what you can do with them. These are typically the casual business contacts that you acquired over the years. Try to get in touch with them, meet them up for a coffee, and chat. Then, ask if they can help refer you to someone who might need what you have. Again, there will be people out there who are willing, and you need to reach out to reach them.

Yes, I need help, and I am still reaching out to ask people if they can help me. But, still believe there will be someone out there waiting to “Give”, and I can “Take”.



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